its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
