I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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