you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
