I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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