we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize