did you get engaged???
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
