Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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