Your dad touched me again.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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