lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
