DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
