I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
