sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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