I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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