oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
