He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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