Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
