you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so explain again why im purple
no
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
