Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
