that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
