i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
