hotel room ftw
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
