and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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