I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
