how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
