I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
