Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
