eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
