I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
