i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
