I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
