I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
