Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
