When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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