I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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