we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
