i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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