I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
