I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
only if we run a train.
done.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
