A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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