The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
