I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
