My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
