Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
