Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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