His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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