what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
