M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
