just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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