Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
one two three fourrrrnication!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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