With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
